STRANGE FACTS ABOUT THE ISLAND OF MORANGI PORA PUNDA - Part 2

Yesterday I told you about Paperback Swap (They also swap hard covers) and I hope some of you joined up but if reading isn't your thing we still have you covered with the sister site Swap A DVD where you can do the same thing with DVD's. Trade the ones you have had around till you don't watch them any more for others you may not have seen before or want to see again. All it costs is postage and on DVD's that's pretty darn cheap.

Return with me now to our beautifull unspoiled Paradise (It only smells spoiled. It really isn't)



The native religion centers around a sacred object they call, "The hard thing that fell from Heaven". Those few outsiders who have been privileged to see it (it can be seen for the price of one pack of hot dogs) report that it looks very much like a fist sized rock. This is somewhat remarkable in that there are no other rocks on the island. Most of the time it is kept in a receptacle that looks suspiciously like a Spam can and is decorated with shells and coral. The natives say that it fell from heaven one day during a time of trouble. The noted anthropologist Isadore Crane Urquhart (ICU to his friends) working with his son, Isadore Crane Urquhart the second (ICU2), has investigated this legend and it is his opinion that it was thrown at them by the peg legged captain of a whaling vessel named the Mopy Dork when he sailed too close to the island in pursuit of a white whale and the natives swarmed aboard and began eating the leather parts of the ship's rigging. Entered in the ship's log is the notation, "Fortunately the natives failed in an attempt to catch the ship's cat".
Getting to this unspoiled tropical paradise can be a difficult undertaking involving seeking out an inexperienced sea captain. No ship that has visited the island has ever gone there a second time.
When asked what time it is, the natives invariably answer, "Five". This is as high as any of them can count. Normally this is sufficient since there has never been more than than five of any one thing on the island at one time. A teacher sent by the United Nations has been attempting to teach them to use both hands when counting but the natives refuse to learn. "It was good enough for daddy and it's good enough for me", is the usual response. Sue can only count to three due to an unfortunate accident suffered during a shark attack. His wife bit off two of his fingers when trying to take a bite out of the shark he was attacking. She pronounced them delicious and Sue has taken to sleeping in boxing gloves in case his wife wakes up hungry during the night.
On the highest point of the island there is one palm tree. This comprises the Morangi Pora Punda national forest and it is taboo to eat the tree. A tourist is required to remove his hat and shoes before taking a picture of the tree. Strangely they can never find them again afterward. When asked about this strange phenomenon a native belched loudly and blamed evil spirits There is a legend that at one time in the dim past the tree produced a coconut. This precipitated a terrible war over who owned it. There were many casualties limited mostly to knots on the head caused by throwing the sacred rock at one another. Finally a peace keeping force from the nearby (250 miles away) island of Hoodat Saydat was sent in. They tied up all of the combatants and poured cold water on them till they came to their senses. The coconut was then broken open and evenly divided. There was an attempt to keep the shell of the coconut as a relic but someone had already eaten it.
This news just in. The island of Morangi Pora Punda has sunk beneath the sea. Stay tuned for exciting developments.

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