SOUR MASH HOG CONCLUSION

Well, here's the end of this story. Let me know what you think of it so I know if I'm on the right track. I have other tales if you like this one. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE FIRST TWO PARTS SCROLL DOWN AND READ THEM NOW OR THIS WON'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO YOU.

SOUR MASH HOG - CONCLUSION

Eb was going so fast when he hit bottom that he skipped across the surface like a stone skips on a pond. Alarmed by the racket the hog leaped to her feet, only to have her legs knocked from under her by the speeding Eb Bodeen.
Lafe returned to the edge of the sump with the rope, then stood there with his mouth hanging open as he tried to figure out what he was seeing.
Eb was flat on his back in the mash, with the sow sitting on his chest. She just sat there with a silly drunken grin. Her tail was in Ebs face. Eb had both hands braced against the sow's rump to keep her from sliding any farther. He looked over at Lafe.
"Lafe iffen it's all the same to you I believe I've admired this here view long enuf. Be obleeged if'n you git this fat hog offa me"
Lafe tipped the jug again just to steady himself a bit, then crawled into the sump on his hands and knees so he wouldn't end up in the same predicament Eb found himself in.
Lafe walked around and around the hog studying the situation. Finally he began rocking the hog back and forth but each time he rocked her she slid higher on Eb's chest.
"WHOA thar Lafe. Ye keep thet up an you're agonna embarass me and this yere sow both".
Lafe walked in front of the sow out of Eb's sight. "Got me a idee"
Eb heard the gurgle of shine pouring from a jug. "Lafe effen yer agonna jest stand there guzzlin my shine at least pour a little down MY gullet"
Suddenly the sow gave a tremendous shudder and fell sideways off Eb's chest. Eb sat up and looked at her. "Ye stick er?"
"Naw", said Lafe. " I jest figgered if she got thet drunk on sour mash some a the real thing might finish her off"
It was coming on sundown and Eb still hadn't returned. Becky was getting concerned as she sat in the kitchen putting a patch on the patch on the seat of Eb's bib overalls.
Suddenly she heard something coming up the trail. It sounded for all the world like two men and a pig trying to sing, "Bringing In The Sheaves " in three part harmony. She went to the window and looked out just as they came around the bend where the trail divided. Eb and Lafe were riding on the biggest durn pig Becky had ever laid eyes on. As she watched, Lafe fell off the pig and started crawling down the track that led to his cabin. Eb and the pig came on. Becky sat down again and pretended she hadn't seen them.
She heard Eb beller, "Whoa thar ol gal, we's home". She heard the creak of the porch steps, then a thump as Eb fell flat onto the porch. She heard him fumbling at the draw latch and the door swung open. Eb staggered into the kitchen followed by the sow.
"Ye git thet filthy drunken animule outen my house", she yelled.
"Aw Becky, she's a good ol gal. If she hadn't hauled me outen thet sump I'da been a goner fer sure"
"Shet yer face Eb Bodeen. I were talkin to the pig".
END

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