Fun with Alzheimers

As those of you who have read my profile on the left already know. I am taking care of an ex with Alzheimers. It can be tiring but there are a lot of funny things that happen also. I thought I'd compile a list of them :
THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE ALZHEIMER GAL
1. Von's grocery bags make a good substitute for Chucks. They only come up to your knees when you put a leg through each handle and make you walk funny but they look a lot alike.
2. There are only two proper places to keep flatware. One is under the couch cushions and the other is in the linen closet. Pots should always be hidden behind the couch. That way she can keep an eye on them since that's where she spends most of her time.
3. Frying pans come in handy for killing flies, especially when they are on a glass top table where you can see them good.
4. Valuables like watches and rings should always be buried in the trash to keep burglars from finding them. We lost a watch and several rings before I learned to sort the trash, but she's right. No one has stolen any.
5. All television programs are about what happened to her when she was younger. She keeps calling me in to see her on TV but I'm too slow. She's never on when I get there. She tells me to sit down and wait. She'll be on again in a minute.
6. Meeting new people every day is good. She meets me for the first time every morning and it takes most of the day before she is convinced we are married.
7. All telephone calls are from her sister. You should see her when some phone marketer calls and I hand the phone to her. She drives them nuts chatting away.
8. Her sister also has Alzheimers and when she does manage to remember how to call they can spend hours on the phone repeating the same 3 minute conversation over and over.

I can laugh or cry but laughing is a lot more fun.